86th & Lexington

After weeks of "working out" at hotel fitness rooms, going to holiday parties, or just getting my exercise by running away from Disney World security (haha just kidding-- I only run on treadmills), I finally, yes FINALLY went to the gym (outside my normal M-F lunch visits).  And I know all (three) of you have been waiting over a month to hear my review.

I had been hearing only great things about this location and while it was nice, I don't think it lived up to the hype completely.  This is another one of those "you need a map or you die hungry trying to find the exit" gyms.  It was definitely spacious and had natural sunlight in almost all of the rooms, but the layout was just awful.  You shouldn't have to feel like Alice in Wonderland trying to find a Smith machine.

The cardio room (level 3?  I have no idea.) was large and full of sunlight with squash courts and a small stretching area off to the side.  I felt like I was in the trailer for Tron, however, cause the manager's glass-encased office overlooked the treadmills (maybe it was more of a "DJ booth at a rave" feel?).  The weight area, once found, was also nice--ish.  The free weights can only be found by going through a small stretching/personal training area, up some stairs where the newfangled machines are, and then down stairs into a dungeon-like-setting.  I was sure I was going to die at the hands of a Botox-withdrawn Upper East Side mom, but luckily I survived.  Past the free weights and back into the sunlight were the machines and plenty of space to workout.

The locker rooms were medium sized, plenty of lockers (including the full size lockers) and facilities.  No complaints other than the humidity and smell; so yeah, I guess I had complaints.

My grade: B+

P.S. there were more gays than expected.  Not a lot.  Just more.

Time Machine Sports Clubs?

Or something?  I need a way to elongate the week; I'm pretty confident people have been complaining about "not enough hours in the day" for, oh I don't know, a few decades at the very least.  So HOW, I ask you, have we not figured out the solution?

My point:  I have been too busy to go to new clubs recently!  I keep going daily to 23rd and Park, but with 4 trips out of town by the end of the year I have trouble seeing a clear schedule.

I WILL, however, prevail (specifics on "how" are TBD) and continue this marathon as planned.  Until then, I'll be at Chipotle complaining about the lack of a six-pack.

Mercer Street

Attention horny straight girls: go to this location.  Seriously.  It's filled to the brim with mildly to extremely attractive straight college guys.  If you were writing this blog your only complaint would be lack of co-ed locker rooms.

This picture sucks, but in my defense there is no big awning, it's pre-daylight savings so it's very dark out, and the SOILED LAUNDRY (gag) would have been too hard to move on my own...and slightly suspicious had I attempted.  This location was great though.  Very large all around.

Ground floor was the lobby (complete with more soiled laundry), women's lockers, and the cycling studio.  Downstairs was the men's locker and the "boxing studio."  I didn't actually see this "boxing studio" since it was down an ominous hallway and I forgot to bring my mace.

Second floor was very, very large.  This had everything else - huge weight area (machines and free-weights), large stretching area, and in a separate section all of the cardio.  The free weights were a different brand than normal (which doesn't really matter but in the interest of being a thorough, completely professional, and potentially world-famous blogger I feel obligated to mention this) and they didn't have the newest of the new when it came to machines.  However, they had everything you needed with the potential exception of an abundance of treadmills.  Oh, and the other studio was on this floor; I should have mentioned this earlier but was distracted by the juiced up frat boys that were watching themselves in the mirror.

The locker room was very spacious, if not a little dark, and came complete with what I have recently labeled the "puzzle piece lockers."  The benefit to these are the occasional FULL SIZE locker!  I took advantage of these.  The steam room worked well and the shower stalls were also surprisingly roomy.  The only thing I would change about the lockers besides the lighting would be to move the very random giant fan that was blocking the only full length mirror.  I was wearing a tie and a full length mirror is VITAL to the placement...how did the employees not foresee this when placing the giant fan?

My grade: A

145th & Frederick Douglass Blvd.

Admittedly, I have been to this location before.  That was before the marathon though (before the "better" me?...let's not stretch it).  I went this past weekend and had a pretty decent workout.

This location is very large and located on two spread-out levels.  The first level has the studio, free weights, most of the machines, treadmills, a few ellipticals, and locker rooms.  The free weight areas are typically very busy with guys on the 'roids (excuse me- "pre-game vitamins" is more appropriate) and can get a little cramped if it's during peak hours, even with the large amount of space available.  For heaven's sake, NYSC, get this place another cable-fly system!

Upstairs has newer machines and the Xpress-line program, two stretching areas, cycling, and plenty of bikes/ellipticals.  Both levels have lots-o-sunlight which is quite delightful.

Locker rooms are OK; they are never completely out of control but not spotless. One huge downfall of the locker rooms is the apparent lack of benches.  Sometimes you just need to sit when putting on your shoes after you sweat out a bottle of wine on the treadmill.  Speaking of treadmills, there are NOT ENOUGH of them here.

And gays.  Not enough gays.

My grade: A

7th Avenue at 10th Street

Fitness tip:  do not workout after brunch.  More specifically after a boozy brunch.

I have walked by this location countless times and have never gone in.  Today was the day!  It was quiet and a little cramped in the lobby.  The first floor is the entrance, lockers are underneath, and then two floors above.  Second floor was cardio and a large studio, and there were plenty of treadmills for all to use.  The best feature of this (gay!) facility was the equipment all overlooked 7th Ave.  Natural light in a gym is the BEST atmosphere.

The third floor (really fourth since you have to walk up two flights of steps...those tricksters) is the weight room.  It was nice and spacious and had everything you need.  Up a few stairs on this floor were the bikes and spin room, but I don't think that counts as "floor four."  Just a subset of floor three perhaps.  Who cares?

The weight room was nice, clean, and open.  Full of natural light.  TINY stretching areas (one tiny one on the second floor and another tiny one on the third floor); I guess people don't stretch or do abs here.  The locker rooms, while having plenty of lockers themselves, were a little cramped and downtrodden.  The most fascinating thing of the day was the naked man who was opening all of the shower curtains and looking inside -- whether or not there was someone showering.  Awkies?  YES.  I chose to bypass the showers since there wasn't a steam room or sauna anyway...and he wasn't really my type.

My grade: B

48th and 6th - Rockefeller Center

I had heard nothing about this location which is odd cause I ran into an old college friend while working out.  Apparently HE doesn't read this blog or he may have chosen another location or advised I avoid this one (ohhh snap!).

The first floor underground had most of the cardio equipment and a very small stretching area.  So small that the man next to me, consciously or not, kept getting up and almost stepping on me.  I was doing SIT UPS.  How do you not see me?!  I was deathly afraid for my iPod and had to move it underneath me to avoid his sneakers of doom.

I felt claustrophobic on this floor and for the life of me didn't know where the free weights were; there were a few machines but that was it.  Finally, behind the bins of dirty towels, I saw two escalators (shout-out to the Wall Street location!  which, btw, I added a snapshot of).  They take you down to the "main" underground level which has all of the weights, the rest of the machines, two studios (plus spinning) and a couple of extra cardio machines.  They had most everything but it was very crowded and cramped.  I'm sure this location is very quiet on the weekends and later at night.

The locker rooms were tiny and gross.  Tiny to the point of proving difficult to walk around people and gross since 1) the floors were wet and 2) if you are in a certain part of the locker room, in order to use the restroom you must walk through the shower area.  That's gross.  Your shoes --- your FEET!  No.  I refused to shower at the end of my workout just assumed "Athlete's Foot shower stalls" would lower the grade a little.

My grade: C-

80th and Broadway

It's a lot of fun to leave a gym and say "wow, what a great facility!" or "man some of the people working out there were easy on the eyes!"

I say no such things about this location.

"6 floors?  Really?" and "Maybe they aren't allowed to vacuum, why else would it be so dirty?" were more along the lines of what I had to say.  I'll put some of the criticism aside and give you the layout (from memory so I may have them slightly mixed up...they had directories on most floors so it wasn't confusing per say, just ridiculously annoying).  First floor is the lobby with the unattractive/awkward management desks directly up front, and a few cardio machines (all ellipticals or variations thereof).  Lower level is men's locker room (small, unkept, humid).  Second floor is the largest with women's locker room, daycare, plenty of treadmills, a stretching area, and a few machines.  Third floor is a small studio and a tiny stretching area (body bars, no medicine balls).  Fourth floor was also small with free weights and the larger machines.  Fifth floor had another studio.

I'm not even going to write more.  It wasn't worth the trip and because of the quality/layout (and clientele) I was no longer motivated to workout. 

My grade: E  (I went to a secondary school whose failing grade was an E not an F.  I know it's weird but it's not my fault; it's how I was raised.)