Grand Central

I definitely forgot to look up the address for this location and just thought, "Oh well it's Grand Central.  Duh."  Got off the train, stepped outside, and realized I had NO idea where I was going.  I looked up on my phone really quick, apparently pulled up the 36th and Madison address, and obviously without any conscious thought began walking there.  It wasn't until a block away I convinced myself that 1) even by a long stretch, geographically this cannot be considered "Grand Central" and 2) I had definitely been there before.  I found the correct address got there quickly and began my workout.

LIES!  I did not (haha you fell for that one, suckers!).  The address is the MET LIFE BUILDING -- do you have any idea how large that building is?  There are like 1,700 entrances!  I had to ask a security guard where the hell I was going and his directions sucked...and he WORKED in the building!

I did finally arrive and the experience was an interesting mix.  The first floor is the entrance/lobby, the locker rooms, and LARGE AMOUNTS of dirty laundry bins.  Everything else is on the second floor (kind of making this a "one floor" gym).  I was not there at a peak time and this place was packed.  In addition, everyone was a gym rat; there were relatively few unfit people working out.  It had a nice punch of motivation/self-deprication.  The weight area is way too small for this facility considering.  The stretching area was fine, all the standard machines, etc.  Definitely enough cardio since this crowd seemed much more interested in free weights.

The locker room was large, albeit slightly confusing (kind of shaped like a jigsaw puzzle and I hate puzzles).  The locker room was also 1,000 degrees.  They had the good ol' "giant fan blowing in your face" set up as if circulating the air was a sufficient replacement for a/c.  Guess what?  It's not.

My grade: B-

Water Street

I took a tour of the Water Street location in 2004 when I lived a mere 1 block away in the Financial District.  I have always wanted to go back and actually work out but it is very far from where I live (as in the farthest location in Manhattan from where I live) with limited hours.  Today was the day!  I DID notice that since I  moved out of the area, albeit many moons ago, the ugly Staples underneath my former building became a new 24 hour Duane Reade and there is a Chipotle about 4 blocks away.  I strive not to be bitter.

A smaller facility, Water Street is neat and clean.  It is clearly catered toward the "Wall Street" type: early 30's or late 40's office workers.  The few early 30's kids that come are slightly concerned with weights ("I'll get ahead with a great ass and toned arms!") but the majority of the clientele ("I just want that new secretary to notice me.") are only interested in cardio.  Luckily it seems that this location realized you need to have a large stretching area if you have a large amount of people doing cardio -- there is plenty of space for this.  All of the cardio is on the ground floor with a grand, spacious stretching area and the main studio as well.

Downstairs are the locker rooms, cycling studio, and free weights.  Downstairs is, well, slightly confusing to get around.  There are little nooks and crannies and a few machines are tucked away behind many mirrors.  This part I did not enjoy.  It also took me about 30 minutes of searching around the mirrors to realize there must be a 3rd floor.  I was right!  That is where the rest of the machines, more free weights (thank the lord), and some more stretching areas live.

The locker room is a decent size although not in tip-top condition like the rest of the gym.  Oddly you have to climb a few stairs (handicap accessible) to get to the showers.  Steam room and sauna galore, plenty of showers, nothing too exciting.

And yes, they had Kleenex.  It's still "awkward weather" phase in NYC and the drippy nose is inevitable when you go from cool to warm.  Don't judge.

My grade:  B+

41st and 3rd

The entrance to this facility is quite lovely.  Fancy stainless steel in a high-rise building right on 3rd Avenue.  As I approached with pep in my step I walked through the revolving door and realized the complete deception I had just encountered, and immediately cussed (partly disappointed no children were around to cry as a result).  I descended the 2 flights of ugly, worn steps into the cellar deep below the city's surface.

Strangely it was a very bright location (and I still had reception!).  All one floor, this location definitely caters to the young business-types.  A studio and cycling near the entrance and all the cardio up front.  Plenty of stretching areas (yay!) albeit strewn amongst a very 90's decor (boo).  The weight area went back for much longer than expected - plenty of machines, a smaller free weights area, and all the standard (older) equipment.

The locker room was WAY too small for this location.  I'm sure since I was there during the busier time it was a little more crowded than usual, but still.  It was also oddly open - I felt like had I walked (hardly embarrassed) in the buff to the showers the whole lobby would have seen me.  Also because of the rush hour, it was a little messy.  I didn't check out the steam room or sauna but OH I wanted to.  No time, I say!

Here's the kicker about good ol' 41st and 3rd: straight girls GET HERE FAST.  You have the insensitive "only concerned about making money and working out" straight boys to the right (y'all love those guys...right?) and the sensitive "crazy hot, built, has a good job but is secretly gay" boys to the left (you can sleep with them and know when they don't call back it really ISN'T you, it's them!).  Lots of staring at me, but no one was about to make a move.  Not with their co-workers looking.

Had we been on W 23rd I would have a few numbers by the end of this visit.  Hello, Mr. Conceited!

My grade: B

115th and 5th

Him: Hey man, how's the fitness?
Me: The what?
Him: The fitness, man.  How's your workout treatin' ya?
Me: I'm...uh...doing my "thang" I guess.
Him: You want to take it to the next level?  You gotta push it.
Me: Oh like steroids?
Him: NO MAN!  Like personal training.  I can help you get to the next level.
Me: So...not steroids?
Him: Nah man, you don't need juice.  You need a coach!
Me: I'm broke.  Thanks though.

WELCOME TO 115th AND 5th!

So that's a real conversation that happened immediately upon changing and walking out to do abs.  I should clarify -- yes, he did work at the gym.  I think he was just bored.  But I'm not social at the gym and I was there for professional blogging research (HAHA) and clearly did not have time or energy to devote to entertaining/humoring this man.

This facility is a cross between E 23rd and 145th Street locations.  It's newer but smaller, well organized but a little cramped.  The upstairs is all the cardio (purple awnings are awesome) and downstairs is everything else. There is one studio downstairs which looked rather small.  There are plenty of machines and plenty of stretching areas.  The free-weight area was pretty wide as well.  Some of the equipment was a little squished together and dimly lit, but other than that the atmosphere was pleasant.

The locker room utilized pretty much the same design from 145th: the larger, wider lockers, less benches, and wide-but-still-using-curtains shower stalls.  No sauna or steam room (wah wah) although with the humidity it certainly felt like it (but seriously, how much do de-humidifiers cost?  So many gyms need them).  Luckily for everyone's safety this facility had Kleenex.  I would have cut a bitch if I went to yet ANOTHER NYSC with no facial tissue.  I was close to writing a letter.

I would avoid this place during the busier times.  The space isn't getting any bigger and the clientele isn't getting any more attractive.

My grade: B+

91st and 3rd

This club was recommended to me by a few people, I think mainly because it has a pool (FREAKOUT!).  I did not particularly love the club although I can see why it would appeal to those UES folks.

It is the STRANGEST looking NYSC I have been to thus far.  It's like it is a standalone building.  I was so nervous walking across the courtyard, feeling all of the dog-walkers and botox-addicts staring at me.  The club is divided into two floors.  The top/ground floor has a small cycling studio, normal studio, and all of the cardio.  Oh and a streching area that can fit 3 slim people, 2 average people, or 1 fat person.  Luckily I wanted to use it when two other slim people were using it.  Otherwise I'dabeenpissed (new word).

Downstairs is everything else.  Free weights (cramped), machines, and the pool.  Downstairs was relatively dim, mainly due to a very low ceiling.  I checked out the pool; typical NY pool, on the smaller size.  The locker room was hotter than the surface of the sun and supposedly had a steam room/sauna/showers but I was too hot and gross to even look.  It wasn't busy in there which I guess is a good thing.  They had no Kleenex again.  Is there a budget crunch on Kleenex?  I NEED KLEENEX, DAMNIT.  It's a basic amenity!

The worst part about this facility (besides the decor and confusing "fun-house" styled mirrors) was the fact that because there was a pool there were children...everywhere.  It was straight out of a nightmare.  Upper East Side moms and their children learning to swim.  I almost stepped on one of "nature's miracles" more than once as they had light adult supervision and were playing around machines that carried hundreds of pounds of weights...and one bitchy gay guy.  Dangerous combination, parents.

My grade: C+

34th and Park

I approached, walked in, and was totally prepared to hate this location.  The men's locker room was confusing to get to, it was very crowded with way too many people doing cardio, and I was confident that there would be a bouncer outside of the locker room asking to see proof that I was member of either the "Jersey Shore Hair Gel Club" or "Long Island Fraternity Association."

I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was wrong.

This club was actually pretty nice.  My first impressions were all bad: it was too busy, the locker room was a thousand degrees and humid, there were no dividers between urinals (pet peeve), the general layout didn't seem clear at first, and the clientele was very straight and very "I'll just down a whey protein drink with a beer and call it muscle" focused.  However, the club is large, there is plenty of cardio for all of those after-business folks, and although the weights are scattered about in a few different spots the layout isn't all that confusing.

No one was mean and everyone stuck to themselves (perhaps because the girls were too focused on staring at the guys, and the guys were too focused on staring at themselves in the mirror).  I didn't have to wait for any equipment.  Upstairs is a small area for stretching and a few ab machines, and the rest of the gym is on one level (including the studio and additional free weights in the back).  The locker room was on the smaller size, but surprisingly not busy; I have a feeling the regulars at this club work and live in the area and don't utilize the locker rooms much.  Just a guess.

Not everything was peaches n cream.  The temperature in the locker room DID go down by the time I finished my workout, but it still had that extra-moist quality to it.  There were plenty of showers but they are the darkest showers I have ever experienced.  If there were ANY LIGHT back in the shower area I would probably say "these showers are large and nice!" but instead I was left thinking "why don't they provide waterproof flashlights?" and "lord have mercy if this were a gayer gym they'd call this the backroom."

My grade: A-

94th and Broadway

Ever walked by a building that was being gutted, with men in hard hats, masks, trucks, and the idling thought that you'll most likely die from asbestos if you linger too long?  Well...trying working out in that building.  Welcome to 94th and Broadway!

In their defense there were plenty of "Attention Members: this gym is going to SUCK until we fix it" signs all over the place; I still couldn't help but feel I was in the "butcher shop" section of a haunted house (you know with the plastic tarp dangling everywhere...fine maybe "Dexter" would have been a better reference.  Can't win 'em all.).  Finding your way around the maze of plastic, paint, and tape is a little difficult but wasn't completely unmanageable.

First floor is the reception and sales desks (looks pretty nice!), downstairs are weights, the studio, and locker rooms.  Upstairs is the room Dexter kills you in (aha!  got it in there), cardio, and a few machines.  I didn't spend too much time upstairs cause 1) if I do any more cardio I'll turn into an Olsen twin and 2) the stretching mats were between a steel bar and a death tarp.  I decided to go light on abs and head downstairs.

The weight area is a little too small for the size of the gym.  Very cramped around the freeweights - too much of the "excusemesorryexcusemesorry" happening and it wasn't even that busy.  Standard machines but still all kind of mushed together.  Hopefully this will be the next area refurbished after the cardio floor.  I have a feeling that many machines were under the tarps upstairs possibly expanding the free weight/machine options.  

The locker rooms were hit and miss.  I liked the dark paneled lockers and they all seemed to be in working order (something not all too common with NYSC) but the floor looked liked it had seen better days.  Sauna, steam room, and plenty of showers.  Let's hope they refurbish this area too - no one likes working out in 1980s decor.  Oh and while there were plenty of towels there were NO Kleenex.  I had cold-weather-to-warm-interior drippy nose walking inside and had to pull an emergency sleeve maneuver.  not.  cool.

My grade: C+

However, I will revisit after all refurbishments are complete...

Something is brewing...

I didn't abandon the blog.  I've just been ONLY going to my home gym on E 23rd Street (too many reasons to type).

That is about to change.  Break out the Jane Fonda VHS and get ready...