38th and Broadway

Pro: everyone told me I would hate this location, but I didn't HATE it per se.
Con: I didn't like it.
Pro: the trainers here are beyond attractive.  All of them.
Con: I wasn't using a trainer.

This place doesn't get a completely failing grade but it certainly isn't recommended.  It is tiny and it is clearly for the business folk (aka more cardio than anything else).  Don't plan on working on your abs or stretching before your workout cause the tiny, sweat-soaked stretching areas are not worth waiting in line for.

The lockers are small and messy but there was a steam room and a sauna available.  While they had most all of the machines that come standard they are packed in a humid and dingy downstairs area.  Just not...nice.

The clientele wasn't bad and the trainers all had me drooling.  But besides that there isn't much to write about.  It is in a terrible part of Manhattan, it's depressing, and it's tiny; none of those are desirable in a boyfriend, and none are desirable in a gym.

My grade: D+

34th and 2nd

I had been warned that this location would easily get an E grade.  I was pleasantly surprised that it exceeded my expectations.  I had difficulty finding it since, as you can see, the awning is BLACK AND WHITE (ugh the inconsistencies are mind boggling sometimes) but I made it in OK and the guy working reception, who I believe was the general manager, gave very detailed directions as to where everything was located; this was the first time anyone has done so (please refer to my 73rd and Central Park West experience).

This smaller facility is made up of three levels.  The ground floor is just the lobby.  Bottom floor is the pool (POOOOL), locker rooms, studio, and the very small free weight area.  2nd floor is everything else.

The free weight area is very, very small.  The cable fly system is also in this area and I was staring at a door that said "CAUTION: CORROSIVE MATERIALS!" as I tried to work out my chest.  That felt healthy.

The entire facility smells of chlorine which is nice at first - in that childhood reminiscent sort of way - but then rather annoying by the end.  Almost everything is on the second floor - cardio (seemed to be a lot), machines, a smaller stretching area, and the cycling studio.  I have a feeling there is plenty of natural sunlight on the second floor but it was raining outside and the ceiling lighting is NOT good; it was dim and depressing with very low ceilings.  Not a place I would want to visit past daylight hours.

The locker room was surprisingly clean.  Only four shower stalls (the half upright bathtub/half tile kind) and the hot water took an embarrassingly long time to get going.  The cleanliness kind of makes up for all of that, even though a steam room and sauna were no where in sight.

And since it is Murray Hill, I was the only gay.  FML

My grade: B-

23rd and 8th

So...I kinda forgot to take a picture of this location.  I promise I will in the future a la Wall Street.  Until then I have substituted the awning with a photo from our recent blizzard.  Cause, ya know, you can never get enough "Snowpocalypse 2010" photos.

I have been to this location before and it definitely has its pros and cons.  Let's start with pros, shall we?

Pros: it is all one level.  I love gyms that are only one level.  Also has plenty of sunlight in the entire facility.  This location has a nice free weight area that overlooks Chelsea (always fun to people watch) and has 3 studios: a group class studio, cycling, and boxing (give me a "RANDOM!").  There is a lot of cardio relative to the size of the gym, and the locker room is large - complete with a steam room.  Plenty of showers...uh...I'm running out of pros...the people here are attractive and usually always fit.

Cons: tiny stretching area, everyone is on the prowl to get laid (pro perhaps? that's a gray area), and the locker rooms are gross.  I mean...gross gross.  I hate showering here cause people usually keep their curtain half open as an "invitation" and I refuse to go in the steam room; I feel like I don't need to elaborate on why.

This Chelsea staple isn't all bad, but is certainly not my preferred place to work out.  A very gay location (and roid rage runs rampant (hey o- alliteration!)) it is a little too skeevy for me; and I'm pretty skeevy.

My grade: B