59th and Park

Do you know how hard it is to walk by Bloomingdale's on your way to workout?  Extremely.

This location was recommended to me by a few people (shout out! except I don't remember who you were...and you probably aren't reading this...so...).  I have to admit it lived up to its reputation.  Nice open lobby leads to ellipticals and a small metal staircase.  Downstairs: locker rooms.  Upstairs: more cardio and a neatly designed studio.  Upstairs: the weight room.  Upstairs: stretching, newer machines.  Downstai...wait...what the HELL are all of these stairs for?  So that's the one downfall: you have to keep going up and down and up and up and down if you want to workout.  That being said, my legs look GREAT!

The weight area was nice and bright if not a little cramped, but they had most everything you need.  Lots of cardio up (and then down) the stairs.  The locker rooms were very nice, tidy, and plenty of towels.  No steam room, but the sauna was extra hot.  I noticed two funny things about the locker room however: 1) none of the curtains fully covered each shower stall, so you had better work out your, uh, lower body before you finish and 2) the urinals are SO HIGH.  Seriously.  I'm average in height and I was on my tip toes in order not to just pee on the floor.  They are basically encouraging people to pee in the showers which, going back to number 1, everyone would see because of the curtain flaw.

My grad: A-

52nd and Broadway

One word: HOT
Two words: HOT twin
Three words: HOT twin brothers.

And that, in itself, is the reason to go to this gym.  However, if you aren't as fortunate as me to pick an AMAZING time to visit this location (see above) it's actually not bad sans-brothers (should I name the brothers?  or is that weird?).

The upstairs is small, just the entrance and a few cardio machines.  There are more cardio machines downstairs, but not many; this location was definitely lacking on cardio if you are more of the runner/eliptical type than the classes/weights/yoga ball type.  The downstairs is one large room with numerous and various weights and machines.  Oddly, most of the machines are not the typical white, but colored (anyone remember DZ the Discover Zone?  Yeah...take out the children (yay!) and replace the "adventure wall" with a smith press and you can start to imagine what it looks like).

Relative to how much cardio this club has to offer the stretching area was ample.  While dim, there are plenty of mirrors everywhere to check yourself out (or Marcus and Sam, as I have now named the twins) and to make the place seem larger.

Locker room wise I was a little turned around and upset.  Let me explain: there is, oh god I don't think I can even say it, NO sauna and NO steam room.



I'll give you a minute.



There ARE plenty of shower stalls (which resemble bathtubs that are standing vertically and if you are over 6' good luck fitting into them) and towels, so I wasn't completely devastated.  Not the tidiest of locker rooms however...

My grade: B

Virginia Sports Clubs?

Off to the south for a week.  I will either come back fat/disgusting but completely motivated...or just fat/disgusting.  Only time will tell.

36th and Madison

Fitness etiquette tip #1:  when someone (namely, me) is on the stretching mat, and there is PLENTY of room on the rest of the mat, please do not plop yourself 1 foot away from me as you flail about doing your lower back exercises.  Find a location further away that has plenty of space without invading the guy nursing a hangover.

Moving forward, this club was highly recommended to me by many NYSC aficionados.  It is a large location!  Plenty of cardio on the main floor (with a few random machines and stretching area), although they don't let the natural sunlight into the windows...and on such a beautiful day this is criminal.  Bottom floor has two studios, two stretching areas, and plenty of machines/weights/shenanigans. 

The locker rooms are almost Wall Street-esque with dark wood paneling, great steam/sauna rooms, and larger than normal showers (yay!).  The only downfall of this club was that it wasn't very tidy; there were weights all over the place and abandonded towels both in the club and the locker rooms.  How do you not notice this?

My grade: A-

73rd and Central Park West

Well depending on how you look at it, being the second most attractive person in the gym can be a GREAT thing!  That was the case today.  In the easily most confusing location I have been to thus far, I was also one of hottest members; not the easiest task.

Normally with a photo like this I would excuse the gym and blame myself.  "Oh I'm sorry the picture sucks, but I was drunk!"  Something along those lines would typically accompany such a quality.  However, this is a completely accurate photo and depicts precisely how I felt about this club: confusing, blurry, and difficult to spot.  No red awning looms over the entrance like I have come to know and love.  Instead you enter and follow a confusing path of stairs to an equally confusing/non-existent "lobby."  I asked the receptionist where the locker room was and even SHE didn't know (she claimed to be new and had to call someone to answer for her).  Not surprising that even the employees can't find their way around this death-trap maze.

Here's why I feel like it is confusing:  there are three floors that are sectioned off into groups. 1) first floor: stretching (yay!), lots of cardio, and random machines placed all around with no strategic planning.  I was surprised I wasn't given a map upon entering.  Down a hall on the left is where you find, well, MORE machines of no particular set.  And - shocker! - down a further, longer, and scarier hall is where the tiny free weight room was located.  Actually, I had given up hope that there even WERE free weights and found them by chance (I thought I was going into the locker room...silly me!).  2) bottom floor is the main studio and 4 or 5 RANDOM treadmills.  I suppose these hidden gems are great for the UWS mommy who just dropped her baby off at infant-yoga and doesn't want to be seen with spit up on her dress in front of the other stroller-pushers on the main floor.  3) top floor.  There are two entrances to the top floor.  One says "employees only" and the other takes you to the women's locker room and smaller stretching area with (another shocker coming up..are you sitting down?) randomly placed machines.

I was expecting a gold-trimmed theme with a nod to the prohibition "old money" times of the luxurious UWS; This is not quite what I found.

It wasn't all awful.  The locker room, while a bit small, was clean and tidy and had towels to offer inside.  Numerous showers (not too busy for a rush hour either), steam room and sauna.  The steam room seemed to be running on borrowed time as it randomly spit out steam at a moderate temperature.  Additionally, I'm sure if I was able to find this location on the street on a regular basis (without the use of a flashlight and GPS if it was after dark) and got to know the layout better, I'd probably find that there were plenty of machine options.

My grade: C-

Wall Street

Went to the Wall Street location yesterday!  This club is extremely easy to get to and was large.  Unfortunately I didn't get to try out the locker rooms so I can't really report back on those (aka the entire lower level).

First floor was mostly cardio, didn't look TOO crowded; there were a few random machines behind the treadmills too.  Up the ESCALATOR (whaaa?) to the second floor is where one studio, the cyling, and the newer machines are located with a little more cardio in the back.  Quite a selection of machines scattered around this entire club (complete with...wait for it...a green and yellow paint scheme...right...).  The top floor was the weight area, which wasn't as impressive as I would have expected.  Mostly older machines up there and a busy free-weight area.

So...this is a pretty boring review.  Whoops!  Here's the gist:  large large club, located in a former wood-paneled bank, lots of straight business people, lots of towels.  And you should know by now - I like a generous availability of towels.

My grade: A-