86th & Lexington

After weeks of "working out" at hotel fitness rooms, going to holiday parties, or just getting my exercise by running away from Disney World security (haha just kidding-- I only run on treadmills), I finally, yes FINALLY went to the gym (outside my normal M-F lunch visits).  And I know all (three) of you have been waiting over a month to hear my review.

I had been hearing only great things about this location and while it was nice, I don't think it lived up to the hype completely.  This is another one of those "you need a map or you die hungry trying to find the exit" gyms.  It was definitely spacious and had natural sunlight in almost all of the rooms, but the layout was just awful.  You shouldn't have to feel like Alice in Wonderland trying to find a Smith machine.

The cardio room (level 3?  I have no idea.) was large and full of sunlight with squash courts and a small stretching area off to the side.  I felt like I was in the trailer for Tron, however, cause the manager's glass-encased office overlooked the treadmills (maybe it was more of a "DJ booth at a rave" feel?).  The weight area, once found, was also nice--ish.  The free weights can only be found by going through a small stretching/personal training area, up some stairs where the newfangled machines are, and then down stairs into a dungeon-like-setting.  I was sure I was going to die at the hands of a Botox-withdrawn Upper East Side mom, but luckily I survived.  Past the free weights and back into the sunlight were the machines and plenty of space to workout.

The locker rooms were medium sized, plenty of lockers (including the full size lockers) and facilities.  No complaints other than the humidity and smell; so yeah, I guess I had complaints.

My grade: B+

P.S. there were more gays than expected.  Not a lot.  Just more.

Time Machine Sports Clubs?

Or something?  I need a way to elongate the week; I'm pretty confident people have been complaining about "not enough hours in the day" for, oh I don't know, a few decades at the very least.  So HOW, I ask you, have we not figured out the solution?

My point:  I have been too busy to go to new clubs recently!  I keep going daily to 23rd and Park, but with 4 trips out of town by the end of the year I have trouble seeing a clear schedule.

I WILL, however, prevail (specifics on "how" are TBD) and continue this marathon as planned.  Until then, I'll be at Chipotle complaining about the lack of a six-pack.

Mercer Street

Attention horny straight girls: go to this location.  Seriously.  It's filled to the brim with mildly to extremely attractive straight college guys.  If you were writing this blog your only complaint would be lack of co-ed locker rooms.

This picture sucks, but in my defense there is no big awning, it's pre-daylight savings so it's very dark out, and the SOILED LAUNDRY (gag) would have been too hard to move on my own...and slightly suspicious had I attempted.  This location was great though.  Very large all around.

Ground floor was the lobby (complete with more soiled laundry), women's lockers, and the cycling studio.  Downstairs was the men's locker and the "boxing studio."  I didn't actually see this "boxing studio" since it was down an ominous hallway and I forgot to bring my mace.

Second floor was very, very large.  This had everything else - huge weight area (machines and free-weights), large stretching area, and in a separate section all of the cardio.  The free weights were a different brand than normal (which doesn't really matter but in the interest of being a thorough, completely professional, and potentially world-famous blogger I feel obligated to mention this) and they didn't have the newest of the new when it came to machines.  However, they had everything you needed with the potential exception of an abundance of treadmills.  Oh, and the other studio was on this floor; I should have mentioned this earlier but was distracted by the juiced up frat boys that were watching themselves in the mirror.

The locker room was very spacious, if not a little dark, and came complete with what I have recently labeled the "puzzle piece lockers."  The benefit to these are the occasional FULL SIZE locker!  I took advantage of these.  The steam room worked well and the shower stalls were also surprisingly roomy.  The only thing I would change about the lockers besides the lighting would be to move the very random giant fan that was blocking the only full length mirror.  I was wearing a tie and a full length mirror is VITAL to the placement...how did the employees not foresee this when placing the giant fan?

My grade: A

145th & Frederick Douglass Blvd.

Admittedly, I have been to this location before.  That was before the marathon though (before the "better" me?...let's not stretch it).  I went this past weekend and had a pretty decent workout.

This location is very large and located on two spread-out levels.  The first level has the studio, free weights, most of the machines, treadmills, a few ellipticals, and locker rooms.  The free weight areas are typically very busy with guys on the 'roids (excuse me- "pre-game vitamins" is more appropriate) and can get a little cramped if it's during peak hours, even with the large amount of space available.  For heaven's sake, NYSC, get this place another cable-fly system!

Upstairs has newer machines and the Xpress-line program, two stretching areas, cycling, and plenty of bikes/ellipticals.  Both levels have lots-o-sunlight which is quite delightful.

Locker rooms are OK; they are never completely out of control but not spotless. One huge downfall of the locker rooms is the apparent lack of benches.  Sometimes you just need to sit when putting on your shoes after you sweat out a bottle of wine on the treadmill.  Speaking of treadmills, there are NOT ENOUGH of them here.

And gays.  Not enough gays.

My grade: A

7th Avenue at 10th Street

Fitness tip:  do not workout after brunch.  More specifically after a boozy brunch.

I have walked by this location countless times and have never gone in.  Today was the day!  It was quiet and a little cramped in the lobby.  The first floor is the entrance, lockers are underneath, and then two floors above.  Second floor was cardio and a large studio, and there were plenty of treadmills for all to use.  The best feature of this (gay!) facility was the equipment all overlooked 7th Ave.  Natural light in a gym is the BEST atmosphere.

The third floor (really fourth since you have to walk up two flights of steps...those tricksters) is the weight room.  It was nice and spacious and had everything you need.  Up a few stairs on this floor were the bikes and spin room, but I don't think that counts as "floor four."  Just a subset of floor three perhaps.  Who cares?

The weight room was nice, clean, and open.  Full of natural light.  TINY stretching areas (one tiny one on the second floor and another tiny one on the third floor); I guess people don't stretch or do abs here.  The locker rooms, while having plenty of lockers themselves, were a little cramped and downtrodden.  The most fascinating thing of the day was the naked man who was opening all of the shower curtains and looking inside -- whether or not there was someone showering.  Awkies?  YES.  I chose to bypass the showers since there wasn't a steam room or sauna anyway...and he wasn't really my type.

My grade: B

48th and 6th - Rockefeller Center

I had heard nothing about this location which is odd cause I ran into an old college friend while working out.  Apparently HE doesn't read this blog or he may have chosen another location or advised I avoid this one (ohhh snap!).

The first floor underground had most of the cardio equipment and a very small stretching area.  So small that the man next to me, consciously or not, kept getting up and almost stepping on me.  I was doing SIT UPS.  How do you not see me?!  I was deathly afraid for my iPod and had to move it underneath me to avoid his sneakers of doom.

I felt claustrophobic on this floor and for the life of me didn't know where the free weights were; there were a few machines but that was it.  Finally, behind the bins of dirty towels, I saw two escalators (shout-out to the Wall Street location!  which, btw, I added a snapshot of).  They take you down to the "main" underground level which has all of the weights, the rest of the machines, two studios (plus spinning) and a couple of extra cardio machines.  They had most everything but it was very crowded and cramped.  I'm sure this location is very quiet on the weekends and later at night.

The locker rooms were tiny and gross.  Tiny to the point of proving difficult to walk around people and gross since 1) the floors were wet and 2) if you are in a certain part of the locker room, in order to use the restroom you must walk through the shower area.  That's gross.  Your shoes --- your FEET!  No.  I refused to shower at the end of my workout just assumed "Athlete's Foot shower stalls" would lower the grade a little.

My grade: C-

80th and Broadway

It's a lot of fun to leave a gym and say "wow, what a great facility!" or "man some of the people working out there were easy on the eyes!"

I say no such things about this location.

"6 floors?  Really?" and "Maybe they aren't allowed to vacuum, why else would it be so dirty?" were more along the lines of what I had to say.  I'll put some of the criticism aside and give you the layout (from memory so I may have them slightly mixed up...they had directories on most floors so it wasn't confusing per say, just ridiculously annoying).  First floor is the lobby with the unattractive/awkward management desks directly up front, and a few cardio machines (all ellipticals or variations thereof).  Lower level is men's locker room (small, unkept, humid).  Second floor is the largest with women's locker room, daycare, plenty of treadmills, a stretching area, and a few machines.  Third floor is a small studio and a tiny stretching area (body bars, no medicine balls).  Fourth floor was also small with free weights and the larger machines.  Fifth floor had another studio.

I'm not even going to write more.  It wasn't worth the trip and because of the quality/layout (and clientele) I was no longer motivated to workout. 

My grade: E  (I went to a secondary school whose failing grade was an E not an F.  I know it's weird but it's not my fault; it's how I was raised.)

59th and Park

Do you know how hard it is to walk by Bloomingdale's on your way to workout?  Extremely.

This location was recommended to me by a few people (shout out! except I don't remember who you were...and you probably aren't reading this...so...).  I have to admit it lived up to its reputation.  Nice open lobby leads to ellipticals and a small metal staircase.  Downstairs: locker rooms.  Upstairs: more cardio and a neatly designed studio.  Upstairs: the weight room.  Upstairs: stretching, newer machines.  Downstai...wait...what the HELL are all of these stairs for?  So that's the one downfall: you have to keep going up and down and up and up and down if you want to workout.  That being said, my legs look GREAT!

The weight area was nice and bright if not a little cramped, but they had most everything you need.  Lots of cardio up (and then down) the stairs.  The locker rooms were very nice, tidy, and plenty of towels.  No steam room, but the sauna was extra hot.  I noticed two funny things about the locker room however: 1) none of the curtains fully covered each shower stall, so you had better work out your, uh, lower body before you finish and 2) the urinals are SO HIGH.  Seriously.  I'm average in height and I was on my tip toes in order not to just pee on the floor.  They are basically encouraging people to pee in the showers which, going back to number 1, everyone would see because of the curtain flaw.

My grad: A-

52nd and Broadway

One word: HOT
Two words: HOT twin
Three words: HOT twin brothers.

And that, in itself, is the reason to go to this gym.  However, if you aren't as fortunate as me to pick an AMAZING time to visit this location (see above) it's actually not bad sans-brothers (should I name the brothers?  or is that weird?).

The upstairs is small, just the entrance and a few cardio machines.  There are more cardio machines downstairs, but not many; this location was definitely lacking on cardio if you are more of the runner/eliptical type than the classes/weights/yoga ball type.  The downstairs is one large room with numerous and various weights and machines.  Oddly, most of the machines are not the typical white, but colored (anyone remember DZ the Discover Zone?  Yeah...take out the children (yay!) and replace the "adventure wall" with a smith press and you can start to imagine what it looks like).

Relative to how much cardio this club has to offer the stretching area was ample.  While dim, there are plenty of mirrors everywhere to check yourself out (or Marcus and Sam, as I have now named the twins) and to make the place seem larger.

Locker room wise I was a little turned around and upset.  Let me explain: there is, oh god I don't think I can even say it, NO sauna and NO steam room.



I'll give you a minute.



There ARE plenty of shower stalls (which resemble bathtubs that are standing vertically and if you are over 6' good luck fitting into them) and towels, so I wasn't completely devastated.  Not the tidiest of locker rooms however...

My grade: B

Virginia Sports Clubs?

Off to the south for a week.  I will either come back fat/disgusting but completely motivated...or just fat/disgusting.  Only time will tell.

36th and Madison

Fitness etiquette tip #1:  when someone (namely, me) is on the stretching mat, and there is PLENTY of room on the rest of the mat, please do not plop yourself 1 foot away from me as you flail about doing your lower back exercises.  Find a location further away that has plenty of space without invading the guy nursing a hangover.

Moving forward, this club was highly recommended to me by many NYSC aficionados.  It is a large location!  Plenty of cardio on the main floor (with a few random machines and stretching area), although they don't let the natural sunlight into the windows...and on such a beautiful day this is criminal.  Bottom floor has two studios, two stretching areas, and plenty of machines/weights/shenanigans. 

The locker rooms are almost Wall Street-esque with dark wood paneling, great steam/sauna rooms, and larger than normal showers (yay!).  The only downfall of this club was that it wasn't very tidy; there were weights all over the place and abandonded towels both in the club and the locker rooms.  How do you not notice this?

My grade: A-

73rd and Central Park West

Well depending on how you look at it, being the second most attractive person in the gym can be a GREAT thing!  That was the case today.  In the easily most confusing location I have been to thus far, I was also one of hottest members; not the easiest task.

Normally with a photo like this I would excuse the gym and blame myself.  "Oh I'm sorry the picture sucks, but I was drunk!"  Something along those lines would typically accompany such a quality.  However, this is a completely accurate photo and depicts precisely how I felt about this club: confusing, blurry, and difficult to spot.  No red awning looms over the entrance like I have come to know and love.  Instead you enter and follow a confusing path of stairs to an equally confusing/non-existent "lobby."  I asked the receptionist where the locker room was and even SHE didn't know (she claimed to be new and had to call someone to answer for her).  Not surprising that even the employees can't find their way around this death-trap maze.

Here's why I feel like it is confusing:  there are three floors that are sectioned off into groups. 1) first floor: stretching (yay!), lots of cardio, and random machines placed all around with no strategic planning.  I was surprised I wasn't given a map upon entering.  Down a hall on the left is where you find, well, MORE machines of no particular set.  And - shocker! - down a further, longer, and scarier hall is where the tiny free weight room was located.  Actually, I had given up hope that there even WERE free weights and found them by chance (I thought I was going into the locker room...silly me!).  2) bottom floor is the main studio and 4 or 5 RANDOM treadmills.  I suppose these hidden gems are great for the UWS mommy who just dropped her baby off at infant-yoga and doesn't want to be seen with spit up on her dress in front of the other stroller-pushers on the main floor.  3) top floor.  There are two entrances to the top floor.  One says "employees only" and the other takes you to the women's locker room and smaller stretching area with (another shocker coming up..are you sitting down?) randomly placed machines.

I was expecting a gold-trimmed theme with a nod to the prohibition "old money" times of the luxurious UWS; This is not quite what I found.

It wasn't all awful.  The locker room, while a bit small, was clean and tidy and had towels to offer inside.  Numerous showers (not too busy for a rush hour either), steam room and sauna.  The steam room seemed to be running on borrowed time as it randomly spit out steam at a moderate temperature.  Additionally, I'm sure if I was able to find this location on the street on a regular basis (without the use of a flashlight and GPS if it was after dark) and got to know the layout better, I'd probably find that there were plenty of machine options.

My grade: C-

Wall Street

Went to the Wall Street location yesterday!  This club is extremely easy to get to and was large.  Unfortunately I didn't get to try out the locker rooms so I can't really report back on those (aka the entire lower level).

First floor was mostly cardio, didn't look TOO crowded; there were a few random machines behind the treadmills too.  Up the ESCALATOR (whaaa?) to the second floor is where one studio, the cyling, and the newer machines are located with a little more cardio in the back.  Quite a selection of machines scattered around this entire club (complete with...wait for it...a green and yellow paint scheme...right...).  The top floor was the weight area, which wasn't as impressive as I would have expected.  Mostly older machines up there and a busy free-weight area.

So...this is a pretty boring review.  Whoops!  Here's the gist:  large large club, located in a former wood-paneled bank, lots of straight business people, lots of towels.  And you should know by now - I like a generous availability of towels.

My grade: A-

62nd and Broadway

Note to self:  don't workout right after you land at the airport...cause your workout will be short and pointless.

Not a fan of this location.  Easily located from the Columbus Circle subway stop, you have to walk two -- not one -- flights downstairs, into the depths of NYC's cellar, to go to the locker rooms.  No natural light, small workout spaces, and cramped hallways make this an undesirable workout facility.  The weight room was an OK size but seemed to be missing a lot of machines; this was until I realized they were spread out all over the place.  I looked like a parent searching for their lost kid at a Chuck E Cheese when I needed to do some stationary exercises (tip: these devices are near the spinning room).  I went during a slow time, but after work I can only imagine how crowded this gym gets.  And no one wants to stretch next to giant barrels of dirty towels...

They DO have squash for any Wall Street types who want to play their friends while chatting about the newest investment plan designed to fail.


The locker room was HUGE, which was great!  Lots of lockers and showers, but contrary to the website there is NO steam room!  Lame.  And the sauna?  Broken.  wtf?

My grade: C

Cleveland Sports Clubs?

Going on vacation, posts when I return.  Give me a few days.

41st Street - Theatre District

OK first off, I drank a Spike Energy Drink on my way to this club.  BAD IDEA.  I felt like an ADHD kid at the waterworks playzone in Disneyland and was having trouble concentrating.

I arrived at this location and was turned off immediately.  However I warmed up INSTANTLY when the first person I saw was h-o-t.  Unfortunately this was the only hot person at the entire club; I felt like I was working out with tourists and their moms.

The gym isn't bad though.  Low ceilings (I kept thinking the guy on the eliptical machine in front of me was going to get a concussion on the vent above him...the suspense made my treadmill run go by much faster), and three floors.  First floor: lots of cardio, very cool temp, and stretching areas.  Bottom floor: studios, and tiny stretching area -- this floor is, well, grim and tiny.  Second floor: TONS of machines, very small free-weight area, and another small stretching area (extra points!).

Locker rooms were large, many showers, sauna and steam room and in OK shape.  However, the only place I could find towels was the front desk.  -1500 points (if the towel service and I were in a relationship this would be a dealbreaker.  Like martini-in-your-face and "please delete my number" dealbreaker).  This is completely inconvenient and, not to continue to be immature about it, stupid.

Grade: B

49th and Broadway

Instead of going back and reviewing all of the other clubs I have been to, I will begin when my marathon started -- today.

This club was OK, but a little confusing for me.  It's in a hotel on the 15th floor of the building (I looked lost) and is deceiving at first.  The pool (it has a POOL!) is on the first (15th?) floor and everything else is downstairs.  I didn't know this and used the upstairs locker room.  Whoops.  This is the smaller locker room that is probably meant just for the people using the pool (AHH pool!).  It was also...gross.  Wet floors, broken curtains, no paper towels for your hands...ugh.

Downstairs was much nicer.  LOTS of space, very large weight area.  This location, however, was fairly warm (ew) and the lighting was DE-pressing.  I felt like I was in a dark warehouse.  I noticed a few machines were broken, but it didn't impede my workout.

P.S.  Very gay.

My grade: B+

home gym - 23rd and Park

My home gym is the ultra-straight, 23rd Street and Park Ave South location.  I love this gym.  It's small, sure, but nice!  The attendants work hard to keep it clean, and the re-design is crisp.

First floor is treadmills, natural lighting and open space.  Bottom floor is weights, a little small but plenty of mirrors.  Top floor is elipticals, stretching (PLENTY of stretching! extra points), express line, and the studios.

Locker room is a decent size for the gym, very very clean, and the showers have the largest stalls of any NYSC I have been to (not many...yet).  Instead of curtains this location has frosted doors.  Sauna, no steam room (boo).

I give this club an A.

The first day

Let's start here: I have no place blogging.  None.  Nope.  Not a writer, not creative, and not remotely interesting.

My roommate told me to.

This is why I'm here: I need new motivation to stay in shape and keep achieving my health goals.  I'm a member of New York Sports Club and go to the same club each and every day during my lunch break at work.  I have only visited 4 of the Manhattan locations and yesterday, while I was acting as a substitute workout buddy for a new friend (he did very little working out, mind you...), I realized I should be taking advantage of the variety of clubs.  It seemed to be great motivation to 1) continue to workout more regularly than just lunch breaks and 2) clear my after work schedule to commit to the gym (aka less bar-crawls, more gym-crawls).

So here we are.